Learn How To SOLVE Problems And Avoid Bad Situations (Part 2)-Learn How To DETACH Yourself

Black woman of the Feminist/BWE type groups (or cults) really have not matured intellectually or learned from their past mistakes. I see NO growth in them (mentally).

Part of the reason why you are always finding yourself in bad predicaments with people is because you are not using discernment with anyone who is not Black. See, the majority of you have such low self esteem, that the first compliment or sign of acknowledgement someone (particularly a man) of another race gives, you immediately attach yourself to them and you start obsessing over these people in a slave-like manner; only until they show you their ass like they’ve always been doing, then you cry about “Misogynoir“.

A lot of you have such little belief and value in yourselves that you feel worthless if you are not socializing with non Blacks.

Learn how to psychologically and emotionally DETACH yourself from people.

Learn how to STAND ON YOUR OWN instead of always trying to be accepted by everyone.

Learn how to stop becoming so comfortable with people too quick.

Learn how to stop disclosing so much personal information especially with those you barely know.

Learn how to stop putting so much value in others so much that you become dependent on them.

Everyone sees this and this is why they keep using and playing you in the same manner that Black males use and play you.

A lot of you are 30+ and are WAY TOO OLD to be crying about people not liking you. You are not a middle school student. GROW UP.

Realize, understand, and accept that the entire world practices violence against Black women.

Realize, understand, and accept that trying to assimilate into other groups is just as detrimental as trying to impress Black males.

You will only keep finding yourself in disadvantageous situations.

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13 thoughts on “Learn How To SOLVE Problems And Avoid Bad Situations (Part 2)-Learn How To DETACH Yourself

  1. This article is very well thought out. Much of it explains the low self esteem and self hatred of many of the women in the BWE spaces. While I was in such spaces, I noticed how hurt alot of the women were by their experiences with dealing with Black people that they internalized racism against other Black people. In their eyes, dealing and interacting with non Black people is a panacea for the many hurts and pains from dealing with their own people.

    Personally, I have always lived in and frequented in non Black spaces from the time I was 7. To this day, I still reside in such spaces. But I used to laugh at much of the stuff that was written about divestment and moving out of Blackistan because it wasn’t realistic to me. Though I have never lived in the ghetto, I always felt that it was a burden to live around White people. Especially White people who dislike you for being Black. And I happen to live in one of the reddest small towns in Florida. It isn’t easy, living here. The moving out of Blackistan idea isn’t realistic due to the fact that once more Black families move out of Blackistan, White people will start moving out. Property prices decrease. And the neighborhood will become the same Blackistan that they were hoping to move out of. Yet these same Black neighborhood that they were trying to move out of are now being gentrified by White and Jewish landowners. Or Hispanics are coming in and taking such neighborhoods over ie Compton. Have these women ever heard of gentrification, White flight and redlining?

    Also their forums are based on group think and polarization. Everyone must agree with everything that the presenter posted. Or else one is called a Mammy or a handmaiden. Much of the atmosphere is pretty much cult like. Everyone had to fall in line.

    They lean way too much on respectability politics and were quite classist. Black women had to be slim, educated, middle to upper middle class background, etc etc to fit in and navigate in the White world. And get a White man. I felt like Black women were being put in a box. Don’t they realize that every Black women is an individual with her own experiences? I also noticed how there were disparaging views and remarks on Black single mothers, overweight Black women, women that lived in the ghetto, and uneducated women. Though I fit many of their ideals of a “respectable” young Black woman, I find such classist ideals demeaning to a certain demographic of Black women.

    The backbiting and going back and forth was too much. There was too much arguing on those forums. And there was no one to trust either. Many of the women would talk behind one’s back or betray one another. While I was in those spaces, there were rumors that my FB profile was fishy and that I wasn’t even a Black woman. That rumor was crazy due to the fact that I had my government name and put up pictures on my Facebook profile. Recently, I had a fall out with a so called “friend”but I wonder if I had told her way too much information about myself to her. These women can’t be trusted.

    This was what I gathered from frequenting Facebook BWE spaces for two years. Last year, I deleted my Facebook profile. You don’t know how relieved I was. I felt free, psychologically.

    Liked by 1 person

    • “They lean way too much on respectability politics and were quite classist. Black women had to be slim, educated, middle to upper middle class background, etc etc to fit in and navigate in the White world. And get a White man. I felt like Black women were being put in a box. Don’t they realize that every Black women is an individual with her own experiences? I also noticed how there were disparaging views and remarks on Black single mothers, overweight Black women, women that lived in the ghetto, and uneducated women. Though I fit many of their ideals of a “respectable” young Black woman, I find such classist ideals demeaning to a certain demographic of Black women.”

      Your comment is 100% true. But this part stands out. Do you notice that so-called “hood rat” Black woman are not targeted by Whites as much as Black women who are socialites? The harder you try to assimilate, the more Whites and other races will target you and single you out. WHY? Because you are in THEIR vicinity so it makes it easier for them to pick at you. You are also “the odd one out” in their eyes.

      Regardless of being rich or poor, low class or high class, no one cares. They still view you in a racist manner.

      (I don’t really like to use the word “hood rat” because it’s kind of offensive even though I’ll admit to using it and calling myself one at times.)

      Liked by 2 people

      • Yes, I also noticed the same phenomenon myself. I was always teased and picked on by White girls in middle school and high school. I dealt with much racism and ostracized in these environments so much it took a toll on my self esteem. I am still dealing with the after effects. The whole divestment thing is just a hoax.

        Have you also noticed how these women contradict themselves?

        Liked by 1 person

      • “The whole divestment thing is just a hoax.”

        You can divest, but be balanced with it. And that’s where the problem is, these women have no balance and the same goes for “Nothing But A Brother” race first Black women. Sometimes you’ll have to associate with others, sometimes it’s best and safer to stay around your own.

        Liked by 1 person

      • What does divestment mean?

        I don’t live in an area where I hear gun shots everyday nor do I know how it is like to deal with drug dealer down the street. I also had a hard time getting along with the African American students due to the fact that I did not grow up around them and my family background is Jamaican. And living in the suburbs hasn’t been a walk in the park for me either.

        I just focus on me and gravitate those that show GENUINE kindness and respect to me regardless of race.

        Like

      • I was at an area “Education Consortium” for a non for profit I worked for and I met these same kind of Black women. We met at this racially mixed event and all the Black women there were talking to this White liberals and disparging Black people. I remember sitting at the table and being blown away. I said nothing because I knew it would not have productive. This two sisters who worked for the local state employment board were bashing Black people, I knew the things they were saying were gross misrepresenations and I knew plenty of educated, well spoken Blacks who could have been of benefit to this particular state but they werent looking the White Liberals and Black Liberals are both ANTI-BLACK.

        Liked by 1 person

    • I never really followed Gradient Lair but I used to read articles. I enjoyed her analysis on what we face in society. Very few blogs on actual Black feminism and empowerment.

      Liked by 1 person

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